Well today I realised that time really is a bastard!
I have never had a day as slow as this one. It has honestly felt like the longest day of my life so far! Plus to make matters worst my previous post was still on going.
I just couldn’t cope today.
Lately I have been making a few mistake in my work, which is not like me. I always take pride in my work. So when i find out that I have made not only one but FOUR mistakes in the last week has shattered me.
It’s not like me and I do not like it. I know everyone makes little mistakes and to an extent I can cope with that. These however have been quite big mistakes, something I shouldn’t be making after I’ve been there for as long as I have.
I’ve always been very hard on myself. I like perfection in everything I do. Everything is done within a time scale and is planned throughout the day. I ALWAYS stick to it. Granted lately I have not, which is why I think I have been making so many mistakes.
I think it boils down to too much stress. A lot of things have been happening around me and to me lately. Physical and emotional pain is a bitch. I’ve lost people too which seems to creep into my track of thought when I least expect it. It’s emotional trauma that I need to move on from. Still doesn’t stop the stress though.
Plus my stress levels have got even higher since the four fuck ups in work. I mean who the hell orders four tables and one chair for a stores customer. A new customer I may add! It’s stupid mistakes I shouldn’t be making. My concentration has clearly left the building.
I so angry at myself!
I don’t do this so why has my mind decided to clearly switch off and think it will go for a wonder and return sometime later. Not only that I find myself triple checking everything that I do. It’s honestly exhausting. People say that I need to learn to relax more and just ride it out. Well I don’t want to, I want to be me again. How do you get rid of stress anyway?! It’s not like I can take a pill and be done with it. It’s not some infection and a few pills will make the whole thing go away is it!
Ugh! I don’t know how people do it.
And you know what else! I can’t deal with my airy fairy colleagues! It’s like hello I am not the only one working in this office. How about you get your head out of your ass and do some work with me!!!
No wondering I’m making mistakes if I am trying to do everything in the bastard place.
Okay, so I clearly have issues with people I work with but maybe I should get into that.
Maybe next time.